My husband masturbates

The question:

We have been together for 17 years, my man has never been a sex goddess and I've made. Our sex is increasingly rare. It turns out that there are some nights I went to bed after him. I could not get to sleep but I tried. I felt that my husband looked at me, checked that I was asleep and he turned his back to masturbate. I feel bad, ugly and I do not know what to do. Since the beginning of our relationship, I ask him to go see a specialist because I think it's a premature ejaculator but he never did. In 17 years together, I can count on the fingers of one hand the times I really enjoyed with my man. What can we do? Uobit

The response of Alain Héril
Sex therapist

The problem you pose is in the range of relational and sexual problems than the mere fact of your husband. Obviously the desire is not flowing between you and this since the beginning of your relationship. The fact that your husband masturbates to you suggests that his need for sex is present but can not make it happen with you. If you wanted to do at all, he would secretly without you aware of his solitary activities! Here he is with you and "something in him" should know that you are fully aware of what is happening. Presumably you are not a sufficient "object of fantasy" for him ... or that you are too much and it inhibits it.

In any case, it seems to me that consultation with a specialist recommended that you have rightly should be two. This would put all that clutter and puts you in pain and able to analyze it in order to begin to find solutions. Because they exist but it is necessary to enable a true reflection on sexuality in your marriage and you can not be the only one to think! The work must be done two to be effective.

You live together depuis17 years with so little pleasure it is time to reverse the trend to give your partner the chance to enter a relationship where desire and its realization can find their rightful place ... finally!

Sexual Lubricant: tool for men and women

Traditionally, the act of union has always been one of the major centers of interest of such animals in general, including humans. Of course, making love is one of the founding acts specific to humans. Undoubtedly, the term "making love" she is important because it goes without saying that each category of living mates, but none has given much importance and priority to this wonderful sublime act of two bodies intertwined in the damp of the night.

However, given the place of the sexual act in the manners of today, man has had to overcome some major drawbacks to multiple causalities, thanks to a fabulous room that is the utensil sexual lubricant.

Why use a sexual lubricant?

The reasons that can push these couples to use a sexual lubricant are many. Which appears first as a matter of course quite obvious is that people who use it are usually female. However, logically, these women face in their midst there lubrication problems. However, it should also be remembered is that the woman's body naturally produces lubricant at every act of intercourse. Physiologically speaking, this is what is called vaginal secretions that are produced by the woman as soon as signs of sexual arousal appear in it. However, for many reasons, women are often affected by a lack of lubrication.
One of the reasons from a pathological phenomenon that affects a small segment of women: vaginismus. This physiological dysfunction follows the fact that the woman's body and especially the Bartholin glands do not produce enough vaginal secretions.

But it may also be lack of lubrication due to lack of sexual desire, in other words, the woman has a lack or total lack of excitement that paralyze the normal production of vaginal secretions.

Note however that in some women, lack of vaginal lubrication comes just a physio-psychological problems related to extreme nervousness or anxiety, uncontrolled women. Like anxiety, marital conflict also promote lubrificatoire dysfunction.

The menopause is also a factor lubrificatoire failure, as this period in a woman's life is a test that must be overcome, sometimes alone.

In addition, it should also point out other causes of impaired lubrication such as smoking, pregnancy or drug treatments ...

Advantages of using a sexual lubricant

It is clear that failure causes lubrificatoire much in women than in the male partner pain that eventually can lead to injury to the vagina or anus penetrated partner. However, the sexual lubricant is the ideal product that will allow you, ladies and gentlemen, for joining in the fun and serenity.

Also note that most of the current sexual lubricants are made so they have no adverse effects on condom use. In fact, designed to water-based lubricants such as gels do not make condoms porous, unlike petroleum jelly.

The sexual lubricant is used at any age

Contrary to what one is tempted to believe today, there is no near-exclusive use of sexual lubricant by women of a certain age group located more than 45 years. Of course, now, women who use a lubricant is far from menopause and it supports all the new craze of these ladies for fun to lubricate "manually".

Did you know?

Be aware that sexual lubricant is far from exclusive use by women as it is now available in gel lubricant for men of all ages, as it turns out that if the woman is vaginal dryness, the Man now has a good way to remedy this, which increases even erectile penis in action.

The erogenous zones: oh, how sensitive!

The human body is lined with ultra-sensitive erogenous zones stimulation. These areas scattered on the body are all potential sources to cause sexual excitement intense.

The erogenous zones are distinguished from the rest of the body by their very high sensitivity to stimulation. When stimulated through caresses, but also biting, these specific areas are likely to cause sexual excitement more or less intense as the case may lead to an orgasm. Phase excitation of the erogenous zones before penetration is commonly known as foreplay.

Two types of erogenous zones

If a priori, the entire surface of the skin is erogenous, specific areas provide an erotic rise faster and intense. Thus, the sexologists distinguished two types of erogenous zones: the primary areas in heavily irrigated areas and nerve endings less sensitive side.

Among the primary areas generally found for both sexes genitalia.

Secondary zones are scattered against the body and depend on each individual. The main erogenous zones include the skin as a whole but more specifically the lips, earlobes, neck, armpits, breasts, hands, abdomen, buttocks, genitalia, perineum , anus, inner thighs, the back of the knees, feet. The mind is also highly erogenous. The sexual act is largely influenced by higher brain activity.

Erogenous zones in women

In women, the primary erogenous zone is based on two poles ultra sensitive: the clitoris and vagina. The excitement of the clitoris is obtained by stroking or rubbing. The vagina on the other hand is almost entirely devoid of touch receptors. The excitement thus comes from the woman herself. The rise of desire causes sensitivity in response to blood congestion and contractions of the muscles of the vaginal wall. G-spot stimulation could have an impact on the growth of desire. The G spot is located on the front of the vagina, a few inches from the vaginal opening.

The other side sensitive erogenous zones in women are breast but also the rest of the genital tract (small and large lips, anus, perineum, buttocks ...).

Erogenous zones in men

In humans, the primary erogenous zone focuses on the glans and the penis. The skin covering the penis acts by friction on the glans during masturbation and penetration.

The nipples and the areas near the genital (testicles, anus ...) are also sensitive but can not alone cause excitation leading to orgasm.

Did you know?

According to sexologists, the chemistry leading to orgasm in both men than in women based on a comprehensive set of very diverse factors which are physical but also in large part psychological. The only excitement of erogenous zones may well be enough to achieve orgasm. The sense of smell, hearing and touch combine with trust in each other to get pleasure.

7 female hobbies that make you more sexy!

You have a hobby? A hobby? An activity that you practice regularly outside of your work ... Ok, fine, but do you know that some of these hobbies can earn you points with the male sex! Find the right ...

1) Play an instrument!

Whether you use your fingers or your mouth, the fact of playing an instrument may have effects on libido maddening ... Fingering, breath that you call when you play a very erotic side! The top instrument: bass, this huge machine that sits between your legs wide apart.

2) Make the kitchen ...

Who said that to please a man, he first had to satisfy his stomach? It's horrible, but it's true! Moreover when the stove is struggling pretty nearly naked in a sexy little apron! And then, imagine a woman kneading a dough with both hands, it's still extremely sexy!

3) Make a massage

You like providing massages to your friends? Your man will love too! If you have this talent, do not be afraid to disclose information at all, no doubt that men rush to the door! If you do not know what to do, nothing prevents you from participating in a training course.

4) Take dancing lessons ...

A woman who sways with ease, lightness ... it is a dream! So if you like this idea, take a course or join a troupe! And at every opportunity, in the evening, show what you can do it, all eyes will turn to you men!

5) Practicing yoga ...

Take care of your body, listen to the household, understand ... it promises great things in bed, especially for a man! And with this flexibility, you could not make incredible positions?

6) Make pottery ...

We remember all the worship scene of the movie Ghost with Demi Moore in full artistic creation! For pottery, yes, since this film, it causes some effects! A real fantasy for some men ... If you like ...

7) You are a volunteer ...

The one who devotes his time and lends his ear to the other ... is undoubtedly a very generous woman. A woman who gives more than it receives! No doubt men will be affected (to the right place)!

To climb your side of seduction, it may take little! A fun and friendly that you empty the head as she turns heads. A You just choose ...

WHEN THE BREASTS STARTS TO GROW

Sex Education: A Guide for Teens
The appearance of the breasts

What girl has not watched this particular bulge of flesh which he announces the development of her breasts? First sign of puberty in girls is often the most anticipated, although some dread the farewell to childhood ...
Of all sizes, all forms

At the top of the breast, which was a light pink or brown growth becomes broader and darker: it is the areola. It is surmounted by a small button, nipple, sensitive to temperature and touch, able to cure or move towards the outside.

No exercise will bind your breasts to grow, diminish or rounded: composed of fatty tissue and glands, breast muscle does not! there are pointed breasts, trumpet, or round as oranges, but rarely symmetrical: you familiarize yourself with them!

Breasts: description and role

These breasts contain mammary gland covering the pectoral muscles. They can be of various shapes. Apart from their role of seduction, the breasts are intended to produce milk for the infant whose wife give birth, and that, regardless of their shape and volume!

The mammary gland consists of fifteen to twenty lobes, which are themselves divided into lobules that contain alveolar glands which manufacture milk. The ducts connect the lobes to the nipple. They transport the milk that flows from the nipple by thin threads (see atlas ).

The purchase of the first bra

The breasts are maintained by a network of fragile ligaments attached to the skin. If these ligaments are torn or stretched, the chest is falling. This is why women wear a bra.

From the appearance of breasts, equip yourself with a bra suitable, especially if your chest is strong or if you practice a sport.

You choose the model that you like most, if not to compress your breasts, do not wear suspenders too tight in the shoulders, and change size as often as necessary, especially at the beginning.

A salesperson will help you. Know all the same as the chest, it was the turn of the chest, just below the breasts, which you add five inches. To find your way around the cup size, measure, this time, where the breasts are larger: if you get the same value as that of the chest, choose a cup A, 2.5 cm for additional Take a B cup to 5 cm over a C cup

Advice of men sent to women

Three representatives of "ordinary" male target women for revealing the subtleties of their operation. In a book not so trivial ...

1) What does the spirit of a man who meets a woman?
2) How to increase the chances of seeing him again?
3) Why the delay to call it?
5) Why did he never called back?
6) When agreeing to spend the first night with him?
7) Is it a purely sexual encounter?

The new branches

Katherine Pancol: "Women do not want to commit as before"

How to quickly know what a man has in mind and avoid getting bogged down in a story without end? Literature, poetry and psychoanalysis have continued to wonder about female desire, held the greatest mystery of the universe. As if the male psyche, it was transparent! Fortunately, a book fills this gap: What men want . Its authors: Gertsman Bradley, 30, lawyer, Christopher Pizzo, 29, accountant, and Rich Seldes, 30, doctor. Three representatives of "ordinary" male who, from their own experience, respond to all questions arises when a woman she met a man. A Bible! Where we measure how the men are not confident and fear rejection. Hence sometimes enigmatic behavior ...

1) What does the spirit of a man who meets a woman?

When it spots a "special person" every man instantly becomes nervous and his heart rate accelerates. Anxious, he hesitates: "I go, I go right? If I go, it will push me and I will be ridiculous ... Is it an alliance on his finger? Is she alone in life?" He was always taught that it was the man to take the first step, about education. The "problem" is that men are as much - or more - subjects that women fear to be turned down: "If a man is confident, superbly beautiful, and if he succeeds in life, fear of rejection wins. His past conquests did not help him, as he does not know yet what you say, do or think, "say our authors. Thus, a man can stare a woman a whole evening, without deciding to go to her. Developed to encourage it to think that she misunderstood the meaning of this look ...

Another element terrifying for a man, even "when the darts glances to make a saint blush" the horde of friends or "friends-watchdog".
Tip: get rid of these gêneuses as quickly if you want to know.

2) How to increase the chances of seeing him again?

Of spontaneity, a touch of seduction, a dash of humor and very kind, the book recommends. Do not occupy the center stage: he must believe that the star is the one! Send physical signals: looks, smiles, etc.. Do not hesitate to show explicit: "I'm glad we met, we should all go see this film you mentioned." If your phone does not ask after one or two allusions of this kind , forget it: you do not care!

Unzipped my pants and gave me a very long, slow ##### without condom!

"I went to Kenya on business in March and found out I was to be there a month; a very long lonely month in a country I had never visited before, and I went to check out the New Florida nightclub in Mombasa. The first time I went I was groped by young women who came up to me (two even stroked my crotch while we were talking which embarrassed me and made me nervous, not horny). I left after talking to them and buying them drinks, feeling for the first time in my life like a piece of meat for women. (There's a switch). I went back the next night after getting my nerve back, and instead of the young girls a 30 year old very attractive black women came up to me; she was just how I like women, thick but not fat, pleasant smile and a great full ass.

Her name was Kia (as close as I could pronounce it), and she spoke English very well with a sexy accent. She asked if I wanted company for the night. She was so low-key I felt comfortable and invited her back to my place. My heart was beating around 200 a minute since I had Never done this before, and she took charge of the conversation as we sat on my hotel room bed and gently put her hand in my lap. She then kissed me and stroked me until I became enormously hard, and mentioned that she would spend the night for $100. I didn't try to talk her down as she would have been charging $400 in the states. I agreed and she told me I could pay her later! She stood up, slipped her dress off revealing incredibly lovely dark caramel skin and perfect C-sized breasts, then slipped to the floor, unzipped my pants and gave me a very long, slow ##### without condom! I tried to convince myself this was safe, and was in fact stupid not to put on a condom



After several minutes of slowly licking my cock and balls, she took it in her mouth deeply and expertly sucked me until I warned her I was coming. Sending of pulling out she started going faster until I had an unbelievable orgasm. She slowed down but kept sucking me until I had to beg her weakly to stop. She seemed to real love the game. she sat up and kissed me. I didn't even realize until we were cuddling afterwards on the bed that she had quietly swallowed everything I had. That was all I could do that first night, and I asked her to spend the rest of the week with me. She agreed for $500, but I only had $300. She agreed to three days. I told her I wanted to get tested with her at a hospital so we could have unprotected sex. She agreed if I paid for both of our tests, which I agreed to.

It turned out to be the best idea I had in a long time. After getting tested, (which was quite expensive)and knowing each other was safe, we had incredible sex in every position you can imagine for the rest of the week. She loved being on top and riding me hard while I sucked her perfect breasts. Afterwards, we laid on the bed while I kissed her lovely full ass. I asked her about anal tentatively, and she seemed amused by my tentativeness. To my surprise, she readily agreed. As I applied lubricant to her incredibly beautiful full ass, I slipped one finger gently into her anus, which was incredibly soft and tight at the same time.

I slowly pressed my cock against her ass, and she pushed back against me until the head went in. Slowly, I pushed until my cock was deep in her full round African ass, as I kissed her neck, which she seemed to really enjoy as she lay on her stomach. After a minute or two of pumping her ass, she told me to stop. I thought she was uncomfortable and I was disappointed, but she surprised me again; she wanted me to hold still while she started shifting her hips back and forth, side to side, while my cock slipped in and out of her ass at different angles, creating a sensation I had never had before. It was indescribable, and after what seemed like 30 seconds of this I couldn't contain myself and came in her ass while loudly groaning. It was the most incredible anal experience I had ever had, with a sexy African woman. Unbelievable.

Afterwards, we took a shower together and kissed, while I soaped every inch of her lovely brown skin. She surprised me yet again by asking if I liked to have my bottom kissed; of course I said yes. She proceeded to kiss and lick my ass, teasing my anus with her tongue until I thought I was going to come again. Again, I had to bed her to stop. I returned the favor later in the night, which she seemed to enjoy tremendously by the sounds she made.

She stayed with me for five days instead of the three we had agreed on without asking me for money. I discovered she was a teacher on vacation, and was hoping to meet someone like me. I knew she was leading up to asking me to take her back to the states, and to my amazement. was actually considering it. I took her to dinner and bought her another $200 in perfume and gifts while I was there. She even went with me to the airport (I paid for the cab to take us and her back to her apartment), and it was a strangely emotional experience saying goodbye.

I've been back three months and deeply confused, guilty, happy and disoriented about the whole experience. I don't know whether to write it off as an enjoyable vacation or go back and stay with her for another month as soon as possible. This was the last thing I expected when I went on a "sexual romp". If you meet a lady like this, be careful; treat her nicely, you may wind up confused and guilty like me (if you are lucky.) (Review # 5461)"