What triggers the orgasm?

Unpredictable and fragile, the female orgasm is more mysterious than that of men. Less "mechanical", it is subject to many emotional parameters that can block it. Self-esteem, letting go, trust in others ... Here are some keys to better surrender.



Fast or slow, intense or casual, easy or arduous ... The female orgasm is an enjoyment fragile, unpredictable, which arises when we least expect it, or eclipsed, despite promising beginnings. Why is it more difficult for women than for men? Because the concerns of men rely more on desire than on pleasure rather than "will I enjoy? "But" will I bend? ". Women know they, that their pleasure is independent of their desire. However, far from easy recipes, you can try to understand and to remove blockages.

Self-esteem

This self-confidence which helps to live well every day is essential for access to the female orgasm. About sexuality, it is through faith in his body, the image that it returns. Nothing to do with a perfect body: on the contrary, the obsession with perfection can create an internal conflict, such as fear to appear naked, refusing to be caressed in certain areas or control of its image during sex ... The measurements, breast shape or size of the thighs have nothing to do with the inner certainty that the body has the ability to give and receive pleasure.

Have this inner feeling of security is to stop thinking in terms of orgasm challenge, learn to enjoy at their own pace, not to focus on the pleasure of the partner, not wait until ours is exclusively dependent on his own; it's finally accept that orgasm is the natural expression of sexual pleasure that belongs to you. Self-confidence, it's still guilt away from the sight of past centuries - "Women have no honest pleasure" - and implicit injunctions of ours - "Enjoyment mandatory in all positions." No one knows better that every woman with whom, when and how she wants to make love. "To enjoy more than the neighbor, fantasizing over his colleague or have more lovers than his girlfriend can not lead us to an impasse," says Alain Héril the sex therapist.

Letting go

For many women, pleasure is disturbing - psychically, the penetration is never trivial. They continue to alternate between penis envy and fear of intrusion. Depending on the day, different times, these feelings come and go. "If the pleasure is expected and even claimed, ahead of analyst Catherine White (author of Women's sexuality is not the magazines (La Martiniere, 2004)), it continues to worry about the unconscious women, as they can fear of invasion and doubt their ability to host sex rights. "

In this concern is compounded by being submerged, washed away by orgasm, which is not for nothing does denominated "little death." This pleasure is not likely he not swallow them up? Why do not they come to let go to listen to that little voice that guides them to orgasm? Because they fear that this voice does not reveal things not very agreeable to themselves, a little disgusting, even? Or it may make them utter obscenities that come out of their mouth like toads escaping the lips of nasty girls in fairy tales? Women are afraid to discover that their pleasure is unfaithful to what they believe and want to be. Drop these unconscious fears is possible when the brain can disconnect to focus on the sensations.